A Bridge Offer You Can’t Refuse

I don’t have cable TV. Last year I almost got it when they changed the free broadcast method and my TV stopped working. I was going to connect to a satellite. Unfortunately, there are too many trees around my house, so the little satellite dish didn’t work. At that point I learned that you can use a box to connect to the new free TV. This seems to work OK, and there are even a few extra free channels that I couldn’t get before. One is called the Retro Channel, or something like that, on which they show very old, very bad defunct shows like the original Battlestar Galactica. You can watch these shows at 3:00 a.m. and party like it’s 1979.

Although I haven’t seen them, I’m told that there are many worthwhile programs on cable TV, things that you really want to watch. Fortunately, I made a startling discovery: You can borrow DVDs of these well-known cable TV shows from the library and then watch them even though you don’t have cable TV! Last winter I set up my exercise bike in the basement, and I watched old cable TV shows while working out each morning. I’ve seen several seasons of the new Battlestar Galactica, which is quite good, and many episodes of a lurid series with vampires.

There is one show that perhaps you’ve heard of. It’s called The Sopranos. I was pretty much ODing on it. In addition to watching an episode every morning, I was sneaking in a few more at night as well. That adds up to many hours of watching The Sopranos every week. Maybe that’s not such a good idea. Originally, viewers could watch only an hour per week, and there were only 13 episodes per season. I’m not sure it’s a good idea to watch such an intense show in higher doses. Fortunately, my excessive screening of The Sopranos has had no effect on me personally … although I’ve started to talk in a funny accent and dress in a funny way (that is to say, funnier than usual), and my anger management skills seem to be in decline.

The Sopranos received many awards for its excellent script writing and performances. Some have commented that the most interesting parts of the show are its dark black humor, Tony’s wacky deranged mother, and the bizarre juxtaposition of ultraviolent, corrupt Mafioso behavior with the trials and tribulations of mundane, upper-middle-class suburban New Jersey life. In a typical episode, Tony can be seen whacking a (former) subordinate one minute, then railing against his impotence in dealing with his out-of-control teenage daughter the next.

The script machinations are interesting, for sure. But for me, the best part of The Sopranos is its depiction of bridges. Each episode begins with a travel montage across the bleak industrial/postindustrial landscape of the Hackensack Meadowlands in New Jersey. The conceit for the introduction is our joining head mobster Tony Soprano in a typical commute from Manhattan to his lush house in the suburbs. We sit with Tony as he puffs on his cigar and cruises out of the Lincoln Tunnel and onto the New Jersey Turnpike. Along the way, we catch glimpses of many old, historic bridges.

Several references list the different vantage points depicted in the introduction. The most prominent of the many bridges shown is the Goethals Bridge, which connects Elizabeth, New Jersey, to Staten Island. The bridge features a cantilever truss main span crossing Arthur Kills that was built in 1925. It has two lanes in each direction and substandard geometry by today’s standards. It is approaching the end of its useful life, and plans for a replacement are in the works.

In addition to the Goethals Bridge, the introduction shows a series of nondescript turnpike highway bridges and several old trusses. The Pulaski Skyway makes a brief appearance. The Skyway is a 2-mile-long truss connecting to the Holland Tunnel. It has a large cantilever truss span crossing the Passaic and Hackensack Rivers along with a series of underdeck truss approach spans. The hulking Skyway forms a perfect backdrop to the swampy, wasted Hackensack Meadowlands landscape. It is a beautiful old structure that looks retrograde and somewhat menacing, exactly the type of bridge that Tony and his fellow mobsters would want to drive across. The Skyway and the other historic old bridges in the introduction montage help set the tone for the series. Showing a sleek, shiny new cable-stayed bridge would not have the same effect.

Other bridges make brief appearances, including several trusses and a through girder railroad bridge in Kearny, New Jersey. Old bridges account for about half of the screen time. The pulsing theme music has as its chorus, “Got yourself a gun.” I hear these lyrics as “Got yourself a bridge.”

The Sopranos was originally broadcast for six seasons from 1999 to 2005. For the first three seasons, the introduction montage included a prominent shot of the World Trade Center Twin Towers hovering in the distance. In the fourth season, the introduction was changed.